**NOTE** “What I’ve Learned” is a new series I am starting here at UI. It will dive into a myriad of different subjects, and what I’ve learned about them during my short time on earth. Hopefully it creates conversation and allows me to learn more about the subject.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. - Mary Schmich - Chicago Tribune

One of the first things I’ve learned about friends is that that the above statement is quite true. After moving back to the area where I grew up after being away for just over 7 years I’ve managed to rekindled a plethora of dormant relationships in the last several months and it has been quite beneficial to my psyche.  I think a lot of people feel the need to leave where they grew up for many reasons. Quite often I hear people say  things like “If I stayed in my home town I’d be eating hay and riding a tractor” or some sort of statement like that. I’ve found though that more often than not it is your hometown, and specfically your home town friendships that determine the course of your relationships throughout the rest of your life. As you get older, you really will need the poeple you knew when you were younger.

I’ve also learned that the more “friends” you allow in to your life, the more drama you allow in to it as well. Think about it, it’s virtually inevitable. When you mix two or more lives together you can expect to inherit some of the other individuals issues. It’s the way life works. That’s why I’ve learned that it’s important to keep the amount of friendships you have to a minimum, as I have for most of my life. I’ve got too much going on to have to concern myself with other peoples issues, or other peoples problems. Now those that I call friend, are the ones who I have said these people are my friend, I’ll give the shirt off my back, I care about their lives, and want to be involved in them. Everyone else, is merely an acquaintance. Someone who, while I want access to their life, I want only limited access. While, I’d drop what I was doing in a heartbeat for a friend, an acquaintance is someone who if I have the ability to make time for I certainly will, but I am not going to go out of my way for an acquaintance.

I’ve learned that a real friend, doesn’t spare your feelings. They’re honest, and if you’re an idiot that could mean that they’re consistently telling you things that tick you off, especially if you’re fairly consistent at screwing up. The beauty of friendship though is that it’s not ‘mean’ or ‘rude’ coming from your friend. It is simply your friend, being a friend. You have a hard time hearing the truth from someone who isn’t your friend, but coming from a friend it’s music to your ears and you sort of expect it, which helps in making it not quite as hard to hear.

Friends, are not neccesary for survival, but they sure do make living a lot easier. Having a myriad of friends is overrated, but for some reason there are folks who feel like they can not live unless they have all their friends. I’ve learned though, after studying my friendships, and the friendships of those around me, those with a few close-knit friends don’t rely on their friends for survival, but certainly get a long a lot better in life then the folks I know who have a crap load of friends.

Most importantly I’ve learned that friends are simply extended family and should be treated as such. I don’t use my friends, and I hope that my friends don’t use me. I’ve known some of my friends for 10 years and others for as little as 10 months, the reality is they’re my brothers and sisters and I love them all.

The latest edition of the Unobjective Intelligence podcast (The Will Young show) is ready for your listening pleasure.

This week I discuss:

• Relationships, and how I feel the internet is positively changing the way we approach them.
• Why getting involved in your community is important, and how you can get involved in your community.
• And I’ll give a very brief campaign 08 update.

As always if there is something you’d like to hear please shoot me an e-mail.

You can download it using Apple’s iTune’s using the link on the right, or for those who don’t use itunes, simply click the button that says ‘RSS Podcast’ and download the latest episode.

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Links mentioned in this weeks episode:

Relationships:

Los’ entry that started it all. He makes a very valid point, check out some of the comments too.

Jeff Jarvis’ Article.

Abstract of the article in the Journal of Adolescent Research. (NOTE: To read the full article you have to buy it)

Article in the New York Times that talks about the above study.

Maxwell Payne Article.

Kristin Stanberry’s Schwab Learning Article.

eHow’s guide to maintaining healthy online relationships. I didn’t mention this one in the podcast, but I figured it was worth listing anyway.

Community Involvement:

The Corporation for National and Community Service.

The USA Freedom Corps.

Campaign News:

Glassbooth - Find out what candidate shares your ideals and philosophy.

McCain’s Straight Talk Express bus now a plane

Shake-up in the McCain campaign

McCain calls shake-up part of “natural evolution”

McCain/Obama talk about Patriotism in Parade Magazine

Obama talks about his consistency on Iraq

AP Analysis: McCain Struggles to regain footing

Senator Obama speaks about Patriotism

Obama endorses faith-based social programs in Zanesville

Senator Obama talks to Relevant magazine about mental distress not justifying abortion

John McCain press release regarding the Colombian Hostage Rescue

McCain camp’s comments on Obama’s Iraq comments

McCain traveled to Mexico to push free trade

I get asked on numerous occasions why I immerse myself in the online world of blogging, social-network services, online chats and the like.

Carlos posted a great entry that sums it up, please check it out.

I commented back with this (I’m posting, so you’ll have a better idea of why this entry resonated with me):

Well written and I couldn’t agree more.

I feel like what was once my small, semi-dedicated circle of friends has expanded through this vast world of online relationships. I’ve “met” people that I wouldn’t have otherwise had the opportunity to meet, that have let me in to their lives and who I’ve let in to mine. To me it’s not a “network” of people whose names I can drop, it’s a family. It’s people who are willing to lend a hand from 900 miles away even if it’s through an AIM chat.

Thank you for this concise and poignant statement. It resonated with me immensely.

I know that there are many out there who say that online relationships are unhealthy. I’ve always, and will continue to beg to differ. I think it is very possible to maintain a very healthy lifestyle, and maintain very healthy relationships even if a large number of those are online. Let’s face it, we’re living in a new world.
I could go on for quite a while telling you how Alex has inspired me with his dedication to his ministry and to the people of his community and to his family, or how without thinking twice he answers my e-mails when I have questions that in the grand scheme of things are completely a waste of his time. Or I could tell you how both Carlos and Heather have given me not only a sound biblical example of parenting, but a realistic “We don’t have all the answers but dang it we love our kids and we’re trying our hardest to be the best, Godly parents ever” example of what a parent should be. I could tell you how Anne and Crystal have reminded me on numerous occasions that the only way you’re going to get anywhere in life is to remain transparent, and to constantly be on guard when it comes to matters of the heart. I’d probably also mention how Chris, reminds that you do not have to agree with someone to know that they are right, that they are wise, and that they are thinking about things well outside the realm of anything you could possibly grasp. (Consequently, I’ve met Chris in real life, and he does the same in real life as he does online.) I’d probably even tell you about Pete who reminds me continually that life DOES indeed come at you fast, and the only way you can deal with it is to fully embrace what is thrown at you.

That’s just SOME of the many people I follow, you can always check them out in my blogroll, and in time I’ll be adding some more of the blogs I read either via their feeds or online that are not currently up there.

The point I’m trying to make with this, is that I’ve grown physically, mentally, emotionally, relationally and spiritually as a result of the blogosphere. I’ve also done a lot of growing as a result of my “real life” relationships, but I can not and will not allow others to write off relationships formed via the internet as if they lack substance, because, well they clearly do not.

Thanks again Los for sharing your heart.

Ladies and gentleman the Unobjective Intelligence Podcast is back and better than ever! (**NOTE** Because I’m hosting the podcast myself now, I have to go through the iTunes store submittal process all over again. Once the podcast has been approved there will be a button on the right for you to subscribe via itunes, and have the podcast downloaded to your iPod. Also, I’m not sure why, but this episode seems bassy to me, that’s not on purpose, just so you know.)

In this episode:

• Where I’ve been.
• A campaign 2008 (or Obama) update.
• Do you watch a lot of television, or spend a lot of time with the internet? Well you may be emotionally and relationally stunted. I’ll tell you why.

The Links I promised in the podcast:

Evidence that lack of social contact stunts you relationally and emotionally.

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,21210531-2703,00.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_torture
http://hoder.com/weblog/archives/008389.shtml
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/06/22/AR2006062201763.html
http://xroads.virginia.edu/~HYPER/DETOC/putnam1/putnam.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bowling_Alone
http://www.bowlingalone.com/

Have something you want addressed in next weeks podcast? Shoot me a line.

Recently a church that I am loosely affiliated with started a social network service. Initially I joined in part to keep in touch with people who, since the beginning of this church’s whole ‘planting process’ have seemingly forgot I exist, merely because I’ve chosen to not be fully involved in the church. Of course, and with little surprise to me most of them have still forgotten I exist even while I am a part of their “social network.” I’ve had to tell myself the folks who haven’t kept in touch do not matter, and be content with the few that have (who coincidently, have actually kept in touch outside of the realm of the social network, if that says anything).

It has been very interesting to me to see the ghetto that this church has created through their social-network. They have in many ways, whether intentionally or not isolated themselves from that which is reality. To me this is somewhat expected since the church is in the birthing stage, and the network is being used primarily as their bulletin in many ways. It’s going to be interesting to see how this social network service develops and adapts as the church develops and adapts.

I have a few concerns about a church sponsoring a social network.

First, let me just say that I’m an strong advocate of open forums that entice discussion and the exchange of ideas. I believe that any society that list the freedom of speech and expression as the first amendment to their constitution demands a certain level of open discussion in all arenas. So you would think then, that I’d advocate a church sponsored social network site for the sole purpose of it’s ability to provide an open forum for the church and the community to hold discussion. However, in my experience in dealing with Christians, or the church I’ve found that open discussion is not something that the church is entirely too comfortable with. Actually, in all truthfulness I’ve found that the church is not very open to discussion at all in most instances. So, I feel that if a church is going to sponsor a social network service then they need to be clear on the fact that it is going to in part be used to create an open forum for civilized discourse and discussion, not just talking about your favorite movie, restaurant, book or Christian musician. The church has to understand that this forum has to exist for the community outside the church to be able to create discourse and discussion too, and has to respond appropriately to that discourse and discussion. They have to realize that discussion is not limited to the social network sites bulletin boards, or forums. On occasion a member of the site may post a blog entry, or make a change to their profile page that might create discussion. The church has to be prepared for this, and respond in a manner that’s not confrontational, or assume that the party inciting the discussion is making an attempt at confrontation either. I can tell you, as a member of the community served by the church whose social networking site I’m a part of they have not been prepared for discourse or discussion. It’s almost as if they thought they were creating themselves a fantasy land to talk about stuff that is really insignificant. Sure, they’ve got threads on their forums for prayers and praises and needs of members of the church and community, but conversation outside of the realm of “church talk” is sort of unheard of.

That brings me to my second point. There would be no problem with just having “church talk” on your social network site, if you marketed it as simply a virtual fellowship hall. This particular church certainly doesn’t market their social network service as that, and I’m fairly certain the leadership of the church does not want it to be that. Take for instance this scenario: I’ve been engaged in conversation with an individual based on a blog entry they wrote (of which I do not have permission to reproduce, so please do not ask for it). This particular individual made a statement that I felt needed to have some sort of concrete evidence. It was, in my opinion, a very loaded, over generalized, judgmental statement about a topic that I had a vague understanding of. So, to better understand the topic I asked for some sort of research or evidence to back up their statement. Well, good night folks, you’d think I asked the individual to step outside so I could kick their ass, at least that is what they’d have you to believe. It turned into a mud-slinging contest, and for a moment, I thought I was on a campaign trail. I was not harassing, rude, insulting or derogatory in my requests. Nor was I any of those things in the many comments that followed my initial request. I simply wanted information that backed up what the individual was saying. They eventually provided some evidence, most of which wouldn’t even be considered valid in even a high-school research paper, but I digress. However, they didn’t provide those resources until they took a few personal jabs at me, including calling my manhood in to question and referring to me as a coward. The individual did eventually apologize however, I’m sure if you ask them they’d tell you that I’m no different then the six girls who beat up the girl in Polk County then posted it online for the world to see. All because I wanted what many of you have asked me for in the past: PROOF. The point of all that was that the individual assumed that I was making an attempt at some sort of confrontation. I would assume that they thought since we were both part of a church sponsored social network service that holding intelligent, civil discourse that wasn’t some how related to God, Jesus, the Bible, or the Church was inappropriate. My conversation, the words that I typed, and the thoughts that I provided were all well within the social network service terms of service and in my opinion well within the two paragraph blurb on the main page about why the church created their social network service.

Which swings me into my third concern. If the intent of your social network site is to be a virtual fellowship hall, or church lobby then there will be a need for an extensive terms of service notice as well as, policing. Quite frankly I’m a HUGE fan of social networking services. I am probably connected to the majority of the services that are readily available. I comply to each services terms of service, and expect those who use the service with me to do the same. If a blurb that states “We’re here to connect, and share about yada yada yada” is all you are planning to use to guide the use of your network, then there will be folks who will come along and push the boundaries. You must clearly define what those boundaries are or you can not be surprised when they’re pushed to the limit or if they are even crossed.

In closing, I have a feeling that as a result of this latest incident I’m probably going to be asked to not use the network any more. Which won’t bother me that much, since like I said the entire reason I’m a part of it has sort of been in vain.

I’m interested in what you think though.

• Do you think that churches should have social network services? What about corporations? As that seems to be the latest trend in the business world too.
• What should a church or corporations social network service terms of service look like? What are some key elements you’d be sure to include in it?
• What would you do for the folks in your church who do not have internet access, thus eliminating their ability to be a part of this vital part of your ministry?
• What other feedback do you have to provide on this subject?

If you’re uncomfortable commenting publicly please feel free to shoot me a line at will|at|willyoungband|dot|com, as I am really interested in what your opinion is on this subject.

I was reading something that disturbed me this morning.

One in four American women under the age of 25 report that they have been sexually assaulted, according to the nation’s largest rape crisis counseling organization, RAINN, the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network.

In case math is not your strongest point that equates to 25 % of women under the age of 25. TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT!?

I read on in the article to find out that in the state of Florida (where I call home) fewer than 5 percent of reported cases make it to a prosecutor’s office, because of lack of forensic evidence or because many are he said/she said stories, making rape cases very difficult to try.

Here’s why this bothers me, well outside of the obvious fact that it’s a disgusting trend. I happen to be of the belief that while a man certainly has his place in society, women do as well. Together we co-exist for the greater good of mankind. Groups that are meant to objectify or otherwise degrade the opposite sex foster a hostile environment and otherwise contribute to alarming numbers like the one above. Furthermore, we’ve gotten in this sort of battle-of-the-sexes mindset that I fear is doing nothing more but creating divided homes. Men are feeling like they have to do everything in their power to prove their masculinity and women are feeling like they have to do everything in their power to prove their independence from men who are over burdening them attempting to prove their masculinity. It’s this never ending circle of vicious behavior that is also contributing to numbers like the one above.

The bottom line is no one sex is any more important than any other. Being a Christian I know the Bible says that the man of the house has his place, and all that jive, however as men we have to carefully approach that place. Also as men, we’ve got to learn that while visual stimulation is something we can not avoid we have to make sure that we’re constantly building women up and not presenting an image that they should not have to live up to, you know the image that says bare as much as possible with out baring it all. Most importantly we need to remember we co-exist. Organizations, groups or whatever else that attempt to segregate sexes in an attempt to “build each other up” or whatever they use as an excuse for meeting are doing nothing more than contributing to the alarming figures above. Men, while you’re indeed the head of the household, you have to be careful just how much charge you take. Avoid the “man of the house” attitude that tears homes apart.

Ex animo,

Will

Ok, so I should forewarn you that this is going to be a bit of a rant.
Some of you derive great joy out of my rants, others think I should just shut up. Either way you’ve been warned, the choice is yours whether to read on or not.

I ran into a former schoolmate a while ago, who I hadn’t seen in quite awhile. She was telling me about her life up to now and in the midst of doing so she mentioned how she met her fiance, who by the way seems like a nice guy. She used a statement that makes me cringe: “When I saw him it was love at first sight.” Listen folks, the validity of that statement is so null that I really have no choice but to giggle when I hear someone say it. Think about it, love by definition is an affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests. With that in mind it’s hard for me to believe that love at first sight is possible. You mean to tell me that the very first time you SAW this particular individual you had admired him, wanted to give him everything he needed and had a bunch in common? How the heck do you know all that just by looking at someone? It’s just not love. At least, I think it’s not.

I could be wrong, but is it possible your love at first sight is nothing more than an intense physical attraction at first sight? I mean I get the point it’s a heck of a lot easier to say love at first sight then it is to say an intense physical attraction at first sight, but really by saying love at first sight you’re lying to yourself and those around you. How can you love someone you don’t even know?
Of course the problem with love is it has so many definitions that it’s hard to keep them all in line.
The love I’m talking about here is the unselfish I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I’m willing to die for you and I’ll love you until death do us part type love. The love that says we have a lot in common, even though we have some things we disagree about. The love that says I’ll provide for you for the rest of our lives, and will do my very best to fulfill every need you may have, and certainly try hard to give you everything/anything you may want. The love that says, when I look at you I can’t think of anyone else on the face of the planet that I should be spending my life with.
Not the love that is an unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.

What’s the difference?

An example of the later would be that I love mankind. I want the best for my fellow man, and will do whatever it takes to help them.

An example of the I’ll love you until death do us part love is when one day (hopefully) I find the women that God has placed on this earth for me to spend the rest of my life with. The women I make a family with. The women I go to bed with every night, and who will hold my loyalty UNTIL THE DAY I DIE. The women that I will confidently know that there is no one else on the face of the planet I’d rather spend my life with.

I’m not saying all love at first sight is actually lust at first sight, because not everyone looks at a person and is so lascivious that they want to rip the persons clothes off and get them in the sack. That’s lust, and not everyone feels that when they see someone they’re initially attracted to.

I think we take love to lightly. I mean look at the divorce rate, it’s higher than its ever been. I have friends who have dated, slept with, hooked up with and been engaged to more people than I can count on both my fingers and toes and each time it seems like they say “When I met him/her it was love at first sight.” Really? Love at first sight huh, then why on earth are they no longer in the picture? You see, if it’s truly love, then it will last forever. If it’s not then, well, it won’t.

I often get made fun of for and get frustrated with my process when it comes to courtship (p.s. dating, when done for nothing more than pleasure is a complete waste of time, don’t date random people just for the comfort of having a boy/girlfriend or for sex/other physical aspects of love, if you don’t think you could marry the person you’re attracted to then you are wasting both of your time…and don’t tell me “Well how are you going to know unless you date first?” You’ll know…trust me!).
I’d be lying if I said I’ve never had an intense physical attraction at first sight, because I have…a lot actually. However, there have been only a few girls who I’ve taken the time to get to know past that physical attraction. I’m EXTREMELY careful with throwing the “L word” around, because truthfully once love comes into the picture the entire relationship changes. I take love seriously (maybe too seriously which would explain why I haven’t had a girlfriend in quite some time) and I’m not going to give a part of my heart to a women, and allow her to give a part of hers to me, if in the end we’re going to go our separate ways. You can fairly well tell when you’re attracted to someone and desire to court them or when you’re attracted to someone and it’ll never be more than a friendly attraction.

The bottom line is this:

- Just because you see someone and you think they’re attractive it’s not LOVE at first sight. It’s nothing more than an intense physical attraction at first sight.
- Be careful how many people you give your heart to or by the time you get married you’ll have very little left to give to that person.
- Don’t date without a purpose. If your purpose is sex or other physical things, then you’re an idiot. Your purpose should be courtship, and eventually marriage.
- Know what you’re looking for. Pray about it, think about it, do whatever it is you do to determine what you’re looking for in a relationship and in a spouse, and do not settle for anything less.
- Don’t tell someone you love them if you barely know them. I mean yes, it’s ok to tell a friend you love them, but if you know that your relationship is progressing forward with the potential to move past friendship, the words “I love you” take on an entirely new meaning. The word love, and the phrase I love you, carry a deep significance, and should be used wisely.
- Most importantly remember that love and marriage are life long commitments. If you can not and/or are not willing to make that commitment, then remaining single is probably the best route for you. I will tell you that personally I believe there is someone for everyone out there, and you just have to remain patient in your search for that person.

That’s some sappy stuff, but it’s been on my heart since my conversation with my schoolmate, and also a situation with a roommate.

Love is a serious matter. Get to know the person you “love” before you tell them you love them. You won’t be sorry.

Ex animo,

Will

Something interesting happened to me yesterday.

Actually I think it was a culmination of an interesting weekend that finally had an “end result.”

Friday afternoon, a good pal of mine, who I don’t keep in touch with nearly enough, sent me a text message asking for a favor. Now, not to toot my own horn, but I don’t have a significant amount of friends so when any of them need a favor, I do my best to help them out. He needed me to go out with him Friday night as he was meeting a girl he met online for the first time and in the event that it didn’t go well he needed a bail out or wingman of sorts to remedy the situation. Luckily for him, it worked out well. It didn’t work out well for me at all, while it was nice to get out of the house on a Friday night it was probably one of the most awkward social experiences I’ve had to encounter in quite a while.

Then Saturday morning, another good friend (or if you ask Kenny or Bobby my girlfriend…ha) Catie helped me move my bed, after I helped her with a simple enough task.

I bring that up because yesterday, I had a terrible day. Actually terrible is not the word to describe yesterday. Work sucked, which is nothing new. I decided to go to Moe’s for their Monday dinner special, and I thought I did a good enough job letting everyone know I’d be there, and I hoped that someone would join me. Only they didn’t. And crap like that happens all the time. To the point where it really makes me feel like I am entirely too socially inept.

Then last night I got to sit down and have coffee and great conversation with Amy. We (well mostly I) talked for a couple hours, and caught up on each others lives and what’s been happening since we last seen each other. It pretty much stinks that we don’t get to hang out on a regular basis now that revolution is done, but I guess it makes when we do get to hang out all the more better.

Anyway, on my ride home last night I got to thinking about how really sad I was that no one showed up to have a damn burrito with me (dumb I know), and how no one ever shows up to see a movie when I say I’m going, or how no one ever really shows up to anything I announce. Like the time I planned for weeks in advance to do the screening of “Jesus Camp” at our apartment in Lakeland. NO ONE SHOWED!?!

Then, like a ton of bricks, in the only fashion He knows how, God slapped me. The Rembrandts “I’ll be there for you” song (the theme song from the sitcom Friends came on the radio and I realized that I seriously have some of the best relationships, some of the best friends in the world. So what I can’t get people to come have a burrito with me. So what I can’t get folks to come to the movies with me. So what hardly no one ever invites me out to do things with them. The friends I do have, people like Nate (my friend from Friday night), Catie, Amy, Kenny, Bobby/Jill, Jay, Beth A., Beth L., Mike D, Chris and a few others will always be there for me, and they know that I’ll be there for them. Truthfully, that’s all that matters.

I know I’ve wrote on this topic before, and I always try to tell myself that I should be content with the relationships I do have and not dwell on the ones I don’t, which is easier said than done. However, there is a lot to be said when your God slaps you in the face and essentially says: “It is, what it is.”

I hope that when I meet the girl that God has placed on this earth for me that this is how I feel about her:

Don’t take the Girl by Tim McGraw

Johnny’s daddy was taking him fishin’
When he was eight years old
A little girl came through the front gate holdin’ a fishing pole
His dad looked down and smiled, said we can’t leave her behind
Son I know you don’t want her to go but someday you’ll change your mind
And Johnny said “Take Jimmy Johnson, take Tommy Thompson, take my best friend Bo
Take anybody that you want as long as she don’t go
Take any boy in the world
Daddy please don’t take the girl

Same old boy
Same sweet girl
Ten years down the road
He held her tight and kissed her lips
In front of the picture show
Stranger came and pulled a gun
Grabbed her by the arm said “If you do what I tell you to, there won’t be any harm”
And Johnny said “Take my money, take my wallet, take my credit cards
Here’s the watch that my grandpa gave me
Here’s the key to my car
Mister give it a whirl
But please don’t take the girl

Same old boy
Same sweet girl
Five years down the road
There’s going to be a little one and she says it’s time to go
Doctor says the baby’s fine but you’ll have to leave
‘Cause his momma’s fading fast and Johnny hit his knees and there he prayed
Take the very breath you gave me
Take the heart from my chest
I’ll gladly take her place if you’ll let me
Make this my last request
Take me out of this world
God, please don’t take the girl

Johnny’s daddy
Was taking him fishin’
When he was eight years old

Today I went to visit Kenny’s blog and forgot that I started using Safari, so when I typed in www.xanga.com and hit enter (expecting it to highlight Kenny’s address) I ended up on Xanga’s front page. I started to scroll down and I came across this post. (You need to read it, because I’m not going to explain it on here)

That post trigged a whole wave of thoughts that I think combined with the overall bad day I had at work left me in one of the most contemplative moods I’ve had in a long time.

Why is it that we are so friendly when we are in the presence of people, but when we leave them, we forget all about them?

Recently, the weekly gathering that I have been a part of for the better part of the last 2 years came to an end. Prior to my attending the gathering I might have had 3 to 5 people that I was friendly enough with to speak to at least once a week. Through out the course of the last 2 years I have made many more friends and obviously our connection was the weekly gathering, but we also managed to stay in contact throughout the week. Now that the gathering is over, is seems, even in just the few weeks that it has been over, that so are a majority of those friendships.

I know what you’re saying, so let me stop you right there.
Yes, I am well aware that it takes more than one person for a relationship to be fruitful. That is why I can say, with great legitimacy that my feelings aren’t for lack of trying. I guess that is why when the vision God gave me turned into a monster (you can read more about that here) I was as devastated as I was. One of the guiding principals was community, and it seems, to me anyway, that now that community can be compared to somewhat of an exclusive country club and it looks like I don’t have a sponsor to become a member.

Did I fall through the cracks?

I mean, sure I’ve managed to keep in contact with a few individuals who have managed to also keep in contact with me, but over all, I have been sadly disappointed in the number of folks who have seemingly forgot that I exist.
I guess in a childish way I got pissed off. You know I didn’t even get an invite to the Revo to Element myspace club. (How 5th grade like is it that I’m complaining about that) I also didn’t get an invite to the “Man Club” (of course I wouldn’t be a part of it anyway, but last time I checked I have a penis, and I used to be a part of Revo).
Many people laughed at me, and others acted like I was a complete idiot when they asked me on the last night of Revo if I’d be going to Element, and I responded with “I’m not sure yet.” Of course, curiosity led to a “Why,” which would lead me to explain that I am discovering the beauty that is the Catholic Church, and I am still praying about what direction it is I’m suppose to go. Would you believe that one guy had the balls to say: “You can’t be serious.” YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS!? What the heck, why on earth would someone respond in such a manner?

A question that has been circulating in my head for the last couple of weeks is Why is it that “open-minded” (at least they call themselves that) individuals are so damn close-minded?

Did it ever occur to you that perhaps God is using this journey of discovery that I’m on to strengthen my belief system? Did it ever occur to you that maybe this journey I’m on is part of something WAY bigger than me, WAY bigger than you, WAY bigger than a church or ministry?

And what if it happens that I convert to Catholicism? Is that the end all be all? Will I be doomed forever? Well, depending on who you ask it would surely seem that way.

Listen, I’m going to put this out there for everyone who reads this to hear.
Seriously, I want you to understand something: THIS JOURNEY IS NOT A WILL YOUNG THING. This isn’t some hair brain idea I got one morning while sitting on the toilet and decided I’d run with it. This discovery process is not something I am taking lightly, and it is not something that I believe I will find an answer to why it’s happening right at this very moment over night. It’s not something that isn’t consistently covered in prayer, and it’s certainly not something that I don’t question God every day about.
So truthfully, if it bothers you, if you’ve got some stupid joke to make, or some ridiculous statement to make, I’d prefer you not be a part of my life. Remove me from your myspace, facebook, linked in and whatever other dumb online social thing of yours you have me on. Stop reading this blog. Don’t call me, text me or keep up with my twitter.

Is that extreme? No, not really. I’ve been praying about it, and I feel like if someone is going to be that ridiculous, that unsupportive, that much of a thorn in my side about a tremendous life altering journey of discovery that I’ve been sent on by God, then honestly that person was never really a friend to begin with.

It took some serious prayer and reflecting for me to realize that I haven’t fallen through the cracks, God has just made it so that the people I NEED in my life are around, and the ones who don’t need to have anything to do with my life are not. I don’t think I’d rather have it any other way. I don’t need a dumb myspace club to be a part of. I don’t need people returning my calls or myspace messages or sending me e-mails.

I am just fine with the friends God has provided, and who’ve made sure that if I tripped on the crack, they were right there to pick me up.

Thanks friends.

Ex animo,

Will