Lately something has really been bothering me. I think it’s always bothered me but, given my latest career adventure it has become more prevalent in my everyday life therefore I have been forced to think about it a lot more.

Essentially I am really starting to get pissed off at the fact that we simply can’t take responsibility for our own actions any more. Hell, I’m beginning to wonder if we ever have!?

You see the economy is in turmoil yet we have found a way to blame everyone except the real culprits…OURSELVES.

Our children are failing in school and it is everyone except for OURSELVES fault.

We are more obese than we have ever been and we blame everything/place under the sun except for OURSELVES.

Nothing is our fault anymore folks and the reality is almost EVERYTHING IS OUR FAULT.
I know that is a pretty dismal way to think about it but, seriously lets humble ourselves for a second and come to grips with the fact that we are in complete control of our lives and the things that happen around us.

Sure, the economy is floundering because of bad politics and bad politicians but WHO elected them? Who has the responsibility to keep them accountable? Better yet, WHO had the power to stop them before they screwed everything up? Our kids achievement levels are at all time lows, and instead of pointing the finger at ourselves for not instilling values that are conducive of achievement we want to blame the teachers and schools. We’re fat and ridiculously unhealthy because we CHOOSE to put way too much crap in our bodies yet it’s the restaurants fault.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

Having a scapegoat for all of our problems is absolutely wonderful but, we’re living in a fantasy land people! It is time we start taking responsibility for our actions and realize that there will be consequences, good and bad, of every decision we make. The blame game is getting old and as a whole it is ruining our society. It is creating substantial drifts in culture and is tearing the world apart as we know it. If we all just took a few minutes to realize that the majority of our problems are caused solely by US, then maybe, just maybe we can slowly start to fix them.

Fox News, CNN, and all the other doom and gloom news stations are not going to fix the problems we face it is up to us and it starts with first acknowledging the fact that most of our problems are of our own doing.

I am tired…

…of everyone thinking that their way is right.
…of all the left versus right bull shit that politics as turned into in this country.
…of worrying about what is going to happen with the economy.
…of watching people pursue things knowing that their likelihood of failure is significant.
…of wondering what is next.
…of men who are heavily influenced by trying to prove their balls are bigger than the other guys.
…of women suffering when their man is playing the “my balls are bigger than theirs” game.
…of children having to grow up in a broken home.
…of the hood mentality that tells you that everyone is out to get you.
…of knowing that racism, sexism, bigotry, hatred, ignorance and intolerance still run rampant in our society.
…of fearing that which is uncontrollable.
…of not fearing that which is controllable.
…of religions, and their followers who are hellbent on convincing the world that their way is the ONLY way.
…of folks not respecting the convictions of others.
…of the media being in control of what we learn and no one doing anything about it.
…of complaining about everyone else not doing anything, when I’m certainly not trying all that hard either.
…of image-control.
…of self-doubt.

I am tired.

**NOTE** “What I’ve Learned” is a new series I am starting here at UI. It will dive into a myriad of different subjects, and what I’ve learned about them during my short time on earth. Hopefully it creates conversation and allows me to learn more about the subject.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. - Mary Schmich - Chicago Tribune

One of the first things I’ve learned about friends is that that the above statement is quite true. After moving back to the area where I grew up after being away for just over 7 years I’ve managed to rekindled a plethora of dormant relationships in the last several months and it has been quite beneficial to my psyche.  I think a lot of people feel the need to leave where they grew up for many reasons. Quite often I hear people say  things like “If I stayed in my home town I’d be eating hay and riding a tractor” or some sort of statement like that. I’ve found though that more often than not it is your hometown, and specfically your home town friendships that determine the course of your relationships throughout the rest of your life. As you get older, you really will need the poeple you knew when you were younger.

I’ve also learned that the more “friends” you allow in to your life, the more drama you allow in to it as well. Think about it, it’s virtually inevitable. When you mix two or more lives together you can expect to inherit some of the other individuals issues. It’s the way life works. That’s why I’ve learned that it’s important to keep the amount of friendships you have to a minimum, as I have for most of my life. I’ve got too much going on to have to concern myself with other peoples issues, or other peoples problems. Now those that I call friend, are the ones who I have said these people are my friend, I’ll give the shirt off my back, I care about their lives, and want to be involved in them. Everyone else, is merely an acquaintance. Someone who, while I want access to their life, I want only limited access. While, I’d drop what I was doing in a heartbeat for a friend, an acquaintance is someone who if I have the ability to make time for I certainly will, but I am not going to go out of my way for an acquaintance.

I’ve learned that a real friend, doesn’t spare your feelings. They’re honest, and if you’re an idiot that could mean that they’re consistently telling you things that tick you off, especially if you’re fairly consistent at screwing up. The beauty of friendship though is that it’s not ‘mean’ or ‘rude’ coming from your friend. It is simply your friend, being a friend. You have a hard time hearing the truth from someone who isn’t your friend, but coming from a friend it’s music to your ears and you sort of expect it, which helps in making it not quite as hard to hear.

Friends, are not necessary for survival, but they sure do make living a lot easier. Having a myriad of friends is overrated, but for some reason there are folks who feel like they can not live unless they have all their friends. I’ve learned though, after studying my friendships, and the friendships of those around me, those with a few close-knit friends don’t rely on their friends for survival, but certainly get a long a lot better in life then the folks I know who have a crap load of friends.

Most importantly I’ve learned that friends are simply extended family and should be treated as such. I don’t use my friends, and I hope that my friends don’t use me. I’ve known some of my friends for 10 years and others for as little as 10 months, the reality is they’re my brothers and sisters and I love them all.