Believe it or not (though I know it’s easier for your to NOT believe it) I think a lot about my future.

One of the greatest (or worst things) that my parents instilled in me is the idea that you work your ass off no matter what you do. Actually the exact phrase they use to drill in my head was: “If you’re gonna do a half-assed job, you might as well not do the job at all.” As a result, I’m a bit of a compulsive work-a-holic I try to put about 225% into everything I do. I fear that this may end of being a problem for me in the future so I am systematically taking steps to ensure that it doesn’t but, that’s easier said than done.

I want to know that when the time comes for me to start my family that I can provide for them without sacrificing the entire family concept. I want my children to have a father who is passionate about their education and deeply involved. I want my wife to have a husband who is around to protect her and who gets in bed with her at or around the same time every night. I want a family that has meals together, even if it’s not everyday of the week. Being a realist though I know that the position I’m in now isn’t going to allow that. That’s why it’s so terribly important for me to get my crap straight now. Otherwise this song could end up being dedicated to me:

Fort Minor was Linkin Park frontman Mike Shinoda’s side project. It was absolutely great, but unfortunately he put his efforts back into Linkin Park. Where’d you go was huge when it debuted.

The song looks at the disappearance of men in a variety of ways. One leaves to serve our country, one just leaves the other is apparently some type of athlete. No matter what the song is being sung from the view of the wife, children or parents. All of these men have their reason for doing what it is they do but, the affect it has had on those around them has been dramatic. I DO NOT WANT TO BE LIKE THAT. I know nothing is perfect but if at any point in time my wife or children ask themselves where I’ve been, or where I went, I’ll feel like a failure.

Do you have a fear in your future that you think about often?

Have you ever had a moment of liberation that allowed you to realize you are exactly where you’re suppose to be?

I think for most of us it’s very easy to realize what is wrong and not what is right and that has a tendency to deeply impact our self-image and the image of our surroundings.

I had a meeting with my good friend Bobby Triplett the other day. Bobby is first and foremost a very good friend, secondly a mentor and third he is my pastor.

I met with him because as his friend I had some concerns that I needed to get off of my chest as they greatly affected the other two categories that I have placed him in my life.
It was quite liberating actually. I had let these concerns get the best of me and it was really bringing me down. Thankfully, Bob in his ability to listen and know that I can talk his ass off any day actually HEARD what I was saying. Needless to say, by the end of the conversation I realized that I am exactly where I am suppose to be, at least from a life standpoint and so the continual questioning of that fact, the making excuses of why I’m not can end, at least for now. The stronghold that those destructive thoughts had on my life has disappeared and I can get back in “the game.”

Life is a struggle and most of the time, it’s a pain in the ass. Now, I know that no one ever said it would be easy, and frankly if it was I’d probably find a reason to complain about it even still!
What’s great though is that when you put the proper people in your life, or the proper career, education, thought pattern, or faith system you can get on with it without having to focus on just how difficult it is. You’re able to say to yourself, “I am an idiot,” and in some cases you’re also able to easily say ‘FIDO.’ (Fuck It and Drive On)

My drill instructors in the army taught me that phrase and it has made difficult situations easier to deal with. When you’re able to just say “whatever” and move on it helps simplify the equation even further.

It is essential for you to surround yourself with folks who help you FIDO, and to make decisions that simplify your life. No one is asking you to do it on your own and you’re crazy if you think you can. It’s important that you have an equal balance of folks who are compassionate and nurturing and ones who tell you how it is. You’ll find when you have that balance in your life things become a lot easier.

I am tired…

…of everyone thinking that their way is right.
…of all the left versus right bull shit that politics as turned into in this country.
…of worrying about what is going to happen with the economy.
…of watching people pursue things knowing that their likelihood of failure is significant.
…of wondering what is next.
…of men who are heavily influenced by trying to prove their balls are bigger than the other guys.
…of women suffering when their man is playing the “my balls are bigger than theirs” game.
…of children having to grow up in a broken home.
…of the hood mentality that tells you that everyone is out to get you.
…of knowing that racism, sexism, bigotry, hatred, ignorance and intolerance still run rampant in our society.
…of fearing that which is uncontrollable.
…of not fearing that which is controllable.
…of religions, and their followers who are hellbent on convincing the world that their way is the ONLY way.
…of folks not respecting the convictions of others.
…of the media being in control of what we learn and no one doing anything about it.
…of complaining about everyone else not doing anything, when I’m certainly not trying all that hard either.
…of image-control.
…of self-doubt.

I am tired.

Tonight, at the behest of my sister I took my parents to the local arts center to see Cheech & Chong perform live. She bought them tickets for their wedding anniversary, and as part of my contribution to that gift, I drove them there and back.

My parents are coming up on 25 years of being together, I want to say 23 of those married (I’m pretty sure they married the year I was born). In this day and age that is quite an accomplishment. Heck, any more 10 years is an accomplishment, but a quarter of a century that is virtually unheard of!

Tonight after I dropped them off for their show and headed out to grab some dinner I got to thinking about my friends. The ones who have great marriages, the ones who’ve been married and are no longer, the ones getting married, the ones who’ve been married multiple times, the ones newly married, the ones dating and the ones who like me are single. While thinking about all these people a grim reality set in: We live in and have been brought up in a completely different world then the one my parents were living and brought up in 25 years ago. The challenges that face our relationships are challenges, that while not completely new, are unique in how we must approach them. In addition to the challenges that have been facing relationships for years, are new challenges that are indeed unique to my generation and future generations.

One thing that is quite alarming to me is my generations ability to “stop loving” the one they’re with. Maybe, it’s just me, but I don’t understand how that happens. It completely boggles my mind - the concept of “falling out of love.” If you can fall out of love as easily as you can fall in to it, then why are things the way they are? Why is marriage even a thought? I mean, it is a lifetime commitment, but if breaking that commitment is as easy as just up and leaving, or telling someone you don’t love them anymore then why does that commitment even exist?

I’m going to stop rambling now, because I could go on forever but, I’ll leave you with this thought:
Is it possible to stop loving someone you’ve said you’re devoting your entire life to? If it is, why/how?

Happy Anniversary mom and dad…I am more proud of you than I could ever put into words.

**Cheese warning: This entry is going to be quite cheesy.**

They say that life is nothing more than a plethora of chapters in a book. With each new major event, or life changing event in life you write a new chapter in your book. I agree with this philosophy however, I believe that at a certain point in life you actually write the last chapter of one book, and begin writing an entirely new book.

I’m pleased to say that I have finished the first book of my life and am about to begin writing the second book.

I began sometime ago seeking out a career move that will put me in a better position to achieve my overall professional and personal ambitions. Consequently, I found an organization that was looking for someone to fill a position that would do just that. Long story short, I interviewed, was offered and accepted the position. Yesterday, I notified my current employer of my resignation, effective at the end of the business day on September 5th 2008, and will begin my newest career on September 8th. Through my new employer I’ll be working in the overnight hours (5pm to 1:30am) which will free up my day time hours to pursue the formation of No Motives, the non-profit organization that I am founding and have had to put on the back burner since I made the announcement that I am founding it. It will also allow me to continue my education so that I can work towards my eventual career goal of being a teacher. In addition to both those, this new position offers me the flexibility to do more freelance journalism, work on more political campaigns, substitute teach, pursue my voice over/voice acting hobby as well as my interest in audio broadcasting. The position offers incredible benefits and a pay that is equal to, if not slightly greater than what I am making right now.

I call this my opportunity of a lifetime.

I think it is important while you’re young to have the ability to figure out what it is you want to do with your life. I have been trying for quite some time to figure that out. Most folks my age do that while they’re in college. The only problem with that for me, is that without some sort of assistance, I can not attend college. (Consequently my new employer offers a very generous tuition reimbursement benefit) I truly believe that I am in the beginning stages of the latest book of my life. Out of this opportunity I am convinced that several other life altering (changing) events will happen as well.

I look forward to writing the future chapters of my latest “life book” with you in the coming years.

Episode 11 of the Unobjective Intelligence podcast (The Will Young show) is here!

This week I’m talking about:

• How it is people feel differently about certain events like political rally’s, natural disasters, mass shootings, etc based on life experience, or opinion.
• I’m talking about what I call the “Obama Affect”. I don’t want to spoil it here…YOU HAVE TO HEAR THIS!
• Why I believe in 2 years. Citizen Journalism will have overtaken the journalism industry.

If there is something you’d like to hear on an upcoming episode of the Will Young show please shoot me an e-mail.

 

 The Unobjective Intelligence Podcast Episode 11 [43:40m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

You can download the UI podcast by using iTunes with the link on the right, or for those who don’t use itunes, simply click the button that says ‘RSS Podcast’ and download the latest episode to your computer to play in whatever MP3 player it is you use. Sometimes it will show up in a player on this post. If it does, feel free to listen to it there.

The lady that owns the company I work for is what I call a “Forward Queen,” you know the type: the ones that forward every e-mail they get because it tells them to or else something terrible will happen. Or forward this so it’ll “change someones life.” Well, I have to give her a little credit as she forwarded me a message the other day, that while not changing my life per say, did leave a lasting impression.

Lately I’ve struggled with the idea that our (myself included) lack of humanity has made me and many others into fairly jaded individuals. That’s part of the reason why this vision of No Motives is so important to me. We’ve forgot that there are others out there and whether they’re just like us, nothing like us, or somewhat like us they still deserve to be treated just like we want to be treated. I think somewhere between the 6 o’clock news, the “war” in Iraq and the latest diet trend we’ve forgot about the golden rule of treating others exactly like we want to be treated. But I digress, partly because I talk about it too much on here, and partly because that’s not what this post is really about.

Any how, my companies owner sent me a message titled “5 Lessons of How We Treat People.” I almost deleted it, because I thought for sure it was just another “stupid forward,” I didn’t though and I’m glad.

Here are just two of the 5 lessons that were shared in that email:

1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one: “What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?” Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50 ‘ s, but how would I know her name?
I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. “Absolutely, ” said the professor. “In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say “hello.” I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

This lesson got me thinking. What if, even outside of our careers, outside of our churches, outside of anything really, what if we take the time to listen and talk to people? I’ve started riding the bus a few days a week. I started doing it mainly to conserve fuel, however now I realize that the opportunities to meet people are far greater for me on the bus than they are in my car. So much so that now I want to ride the bus as much as I can. Being an ambitious, future politician, this idea of meeting people was striking to me because all good politicians should know the community they’re advocating for. I realized though, outside of my political ambitions, how lucky am I to get to know these people for no other reason than just getting to know them? The answer is: I’m one of the luckiest men on the face of the planet.

4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!
Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

I find myself telling people on a regular basis now that if they’re fed up with something then they should change it. I even became the receiver of my own advice when I realized that I was sick of complaining about gas prices and did something about it by beginning to take the bus. I’ve heard people say in one form or another that every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition, but never paid it much mind until lately.
We can’t just keep crying about the way things are then move on. If you don’t like the way something works change it! Many objects have been invented because someone didn’t like the way the object before it worked, so they did something about it. We’ve got to start doing something about life. If we’re tired, jaded, irritated, frustrated about our condition, or the conditions of those around us, we need to start acting. It’s easier than we might think.

I figured I’d share those lessons with you, there are 3 others too that are very inspiring, I actually sort of teared up at the end of the e-mail. If you’d like me to pass the message along to you please feel free to leave your e-mail in a comment and I’ll get it to you.

Ex animo,
Will