Recently my “church”, which happened to be a ministry of another church decided to up and go plant themselves as an official church.

Now, I know what you’re thinking…”So you’re now going to actually be a part of an official church.”

Well no, I’m not. You see, initially I was, but the more I actually sought the guidance of the one who I allow to make those decisions for me, the more I realized I was not doing what He wanted me to do. So, I decided not to move along with my “church.”
Since then my life has been turned upside down. I started attending a Catholic Church, which wasn’t too weird as I had been studying Catholicism for several months (I’ve actually studied quite a few other religions), the folks who I consider deep spiritual mentors had recently converted back to Catholicism, I made a new friend who was Catholic and I took all this to be a sign that perhaps this was the route I was suppose to take. Despite numerous prayers, and not (to my recollection and understanding) receiving any guidance from the one who makes those decisions for me. I rode with it. Well, after awhile, I started to realize that perhaps there were signs and He was telling me this wasn’t the right route to be taking. Needless, to say I haven’t been to a church in well over a month.

So now I have a plethora of thoughts running through my head:

• Have I allowed myself to become attached to the idea of Church? Why?!?
• Why is it that my “church” which for the most part was several other folks “church” have to go and screw with things. For instance, I loved the fact that I could spend my weekends (the only days of the week where the normal grind allows me to) sleeping in, and still get fed spiritually at 8pm Monday night. Why does that have to change!?!?
• Who on Earth made this mandate that “church” has to happen at 10:30 am on Sunday morning? Like seriously, I know good and well that there are many pastors out there who would be perfectly content with church at 8pm on Tuesday night. Yet, many do nothing about it. WHY THE HECK IS SO RIDICULOUSLY EARLY ON A WEEKEND MORNING THE STANDARD!?!?!?!
• Why do I feel like the majority of people who have went along with this idea of being a “real church” doing so just because of the trend factor involved?
• Why have I told myself that God doesn’t want me to be a part of this church, even though I know different? Furthermore, why is God allowing me to take his name in vain to convince everyone that my refusal to step on the “cool kids train” is His idea? Why is it that I have found it ok to lie, when I know damn well the only logical reason I have come up with for not wanting to be a part of this incredible thing is because I feel that so many are involved for the wrong reasons!?
• Why the heck am I so judgmental!?!?!?!?!?!?
• Why the heck can I not find a single place where I can just do me? (Not even my “church” that is now becoming a “real church” that I’m not…at least for right now…going to have anything to do with)

My friend Crystal had a live prayer meeting a few nights back, and I asked for her and those in attendance to pray specifically for my situation, and ever since, God has really been kicking me in the butt. Mainly about the taking His name in vain (which I guess answers one of the questions up top), but also about being so dang judgmental and actually do what He’s telling me to do.

Yet…I’m finding that I am very afraid of doing what He is telling me to do.
The thing is, I truly believe in the mission and vision that my friend, who happens to be the pastor of this church that I have been trying desperately to not be a part of, has been given. I believe in the reach that this vision/mission is going to attain. I believe that most folks involved in the process of helping carry out that vision/mission are doing so because they too truly believe in it too. Unfortunately I believe there are others who are simply there because of the cool factor, and for whatever reason I have let that piss me off to no end. I’ve let it jade my opinion of a friend who has done nothing but support me, and who I hold in high regard. I’ve let it jade my opinion of the folks he has prayerfully decided to help him carry out that mission. Worst of all, I’ve let it encompass a great portion of my life. Essentially I’ve wasted a lot of time being a selfish bastard who will not listen to God, because I’m way to judgmental. The sad thing is, while I know I’m overly judgmental (which given that fact that none of us really have any right to judge any sort of judgment is overly judgmental), I also know that I am right in many cases. (And for those sticklers out there…being right means I can prove it)

That’s why I’m so damned confused.

I know what I’m suppose to do, yet I don’t do it. I do what I’m not suppose to do instead, in an attempt to make even more excuses for what I am actually suppose to be doing.

In the end it boils down to me wanting a place where I can do me. Sadly, the one place where I feel like that might be possible, the one place where God has told me He’s making it possible, is the one place I fear it’s not possible.

Pray please. For me, I am so stinkin conflicted, it is driving me nuts. I’m in the stage of just listening now, so maybe if some of you talk to God for me, perhaps He’ll find a way to sucker punch me in to believing what He has to say.

Recently a church that I am loosely affiliated with started a social network service. Initially I joined in part to keep in touch with people who, since the beginning of this church’s whole ‘planting process’ have seemingly forgot I exist, merely because I’ve chosen to not be fully involved in the church. Of course, and with little surprise to me most of them have still forgotten I exist even while I am a part of their “social network.” I’ve had to tell myself the folks who haven’t kept in touch do not matter, and be content with the few that have (who coincidently, have actually kept in touch outside of the realm of the social network, if that says anything).

It has been very interesting to me to see the ghetto that this church has created through their social-network. They have in many ways, whether intentionally or not isolated themselves from that which is reality. To me this is somewhat expected since the church is in the birthing stage, and the network is being used primarily as their bulletin in many ways. It’s going to be interesting to see how this social network service develops and adapts as the church develops and adapts.

I have a few concerns about a church sponsoring a social network.

First, let me just say that I’m an strong advocate of open forums that entice discussion and the exchange of ideas. I believe that any society that list the freedom of speech and expression as the first amendment to their constitution demands a certain level of open discussion in all arenas. So you would think then, that I’d advocate a church sponsored social network site for the sole purpose of it’s ability to provide an open forum for the church and the community to hold discussion. However, in my experience in dealing with Christians, or the church I’ve found that open discussion is not something that the church is entirely too comfortable with. Actually, in all truthfulness I’ve found that the church is not very open to discussion at all in most instances. So, I feel that if a church is going to sponsor a social network service then they need to be clear on the fact that it is going to in part be used to create an open forum for civilized discourse and discussion, not just talking about your favorite movie, restaurant, book or Christian musician. The church has to understand that this forum has to exist for the community outside the church to be able to create discourse and discussion too, and has to respond appropriately to that discourse and discussion. They have to realize that discussion is not limited to the social network sites bulletin boards, or forums. On occasion a member of the site may post a blog entry, or make a change to their profile page that might create discussion. The church has to be prepared for this, and respond in a manner that’s not confrontational, or assume that the party inciting the discussion is making an attempt at confrontation either. I can tell you, as a member of the community served by the church whose social networking site I’m a part of they have not been prepared for discourse or discussion. It’s almost as if they thought they were creating themselves a fantasy land to talk about stuff that is really insignificant. Sure, they’ve got threads on their forums for prayers and praises and needs of members of the church and community, but conversation outside of the realm of “church talk” is sort of unheard of.

That brings me to my second point. There would be no problem with just having “church talk” on your social network site, if you marketed it as simply a virtual fellowship hall. This particular church certainly doesn’t market their social network service as that, and I’m fairly certain the leadership of the church does not want it to be that. Take for instance this scenario: I’ve been engaged in conversation with an individual based on a blog entry they wrote (of which I do not have permission to reproduce, so please do not ask for it). This particular individual made a statement that I felt needed to have some sort of concrete evidence. It was, in my opinion, a very loaded, over generalized, judgmental statement about a topic that I had a vague understanding of. So, to better understand the topic I asked for some sort of research or evidence to back up their statement. Well, good night folks, you’d think I asked the individual to step outside so I could kick their ass, at least that is what they’d have you to believe. It turned into a mud-slinging contest, and for a moment, I thought I was on a campaign trail. I was not harassing, rude, insulting or derogatory in my requests. Nor was I any of those things in the many comments that followed my initial request. I simply wanted information that backed up what the individual was saying. They eventually provided some evidence, most of which wouldn’t even be considered valid in even a high-school research paper, but I digress. However, they didn’t provide those resources until they took a few personal jabs at me, including calling my manhood in to question and referring to me as a coward. The individual did eventually apologize however, I’m sure if you ask them they’d tell you that I’m no different then the six girls who beat up the girl in Polk County then posted it online for the world to see. All because I wanted what many of you have asked me for in the past: PROOF. The point of all that was that the individual assumed that I was making an attempt at some sort of confrontation. I would assume that they thought since we were both part of a church sponsored social network service that holding intelligent, civil discourse that wasn’t some how related to God, Jesus, the Bible, or the Church was inappropriate. My conversation, the words that I typed, and the thoughts that I provided were all well within the social network service terms of service and in my opinion well within the two paragraph blurb on the main page about why the church created their social network service.

Which swings me into my third concern. If the intent of your social network site is to be a virtual fellowship hall, or church lobby then there will be a need for an extensive terms of service notice as well as, policing. Quite frankly I’m a HUGE fan of social networking services. I am probably connected to the majority of the services that are readily available. I comply to each services terms of service, and expect those who use the service with me to do the same. If a blurb that states “We’re here to connect, and share about yada yada yada” is all you are planning to use to guide the use of your network, then there will be folks who will come along and push the boundaries. You must clearly define what those boundaries are or you can not be surprised when they’re pushed to the limit or if they are even crossed.

In closing, I have a feeling that as a result of this latest incident I’m probably going to be asked to not use the network any more. Which won’t bother me that much, since like I said the entire reason I’m a part of it has sort of been in vain.

I’m interested in what you think though.

• Do you think that churches should have social network services? What about corporations? As that seems to be the latest trend in the business world too.
• What should a church or corporations social network service terms of service look like? What are some key elements you’d be sure to include in it?
• What would you do for the folks in your church who do not have internet access, thus eliminating their ability to be a part of this vital part of your ministry?
• What other feedback do you have to provide on this subject?

If you’re uncomfortable commenting publicly please feel free to shoot me a line at will|at|willyoungband|dot|com, as I am really interested in what your opinion is on this subject.