Okay, so yesterday I know I talked about thinking before complaining and while this is going to sound like a justification please, understand that it isn’t. I KNOW that there are MANY, MANY folks in the world who do not have the opportunity to attend church all around the world. I feel for them, and I pray that their situation changes, as for me though, I’ve made an observation and I have to talk about it.

Why the HECK do we do church at 10:30am on a Sunday morning…or for some of us even EARLIER!?

First of all, who said we had to do church on Sunday?

Secondly, who in the world thought that doing it in the morning was a good idea!?

I’ve talked to many people who have stated that they would be more likely to consider attending a church if they didn’t have to wake up so damn early on a weekend to do it! A significant number of church leaders will say that it’s a discipline thing, and talk about the sabbath and how if it was really important to the person they would do it. Some would even go as far to say that folks aren’t right spiritually if they consider not going to church simply because of the day and time.

I’ve got news for you, I love my church, I love my church family (most of them anyway), I love my pastor (heck he is like my best friend and a mentor) but, I have a REALLY hard time getting up in time to make it to church by 10:30 in the morning. For me, it is the fact that I work until 1:15am and don’t usually make it in to bed until 2:00am so in order to get up in time to get ready for not only church but work later in the day, by showering/shaving and getting my dinner prepared it is simply not feasible for me. I try…believe me I try but, my attempts are almost always futile. Our church also spends a lot of time reaching the folks that most churches tend to forget about. A significant number of those individuals are involved in nightlife activities and I feel that this is one area that we have really failed in our efforts to reach out to them. How the heck are we suppose to show folks we love them if we make it nearly impossible to do so? The bottom line is NORMAL folks aren’t up before 12pm on the weekends. (ok, so you’re not abnormal if you’re up before noon maybe, just a bit weird)

Besides, isn’t Sunday the declared Sabbath day in the church? If we’re suppose to do jack on the Sabbath we’re lacking significantly in the category! I think some of the people that attend at least my church work a heck of a lot harder on Sunday’s than they do the rest of the week. (I know…I’ve been to their places of business during the week :-))

I know that there is a bit of a humorous tone in this post but hear me out…I think this whole Church on Sunday morning thing is more of a hindrance to ministry than anything else. Throw discipline out the window because the reality is you can be the most disciplined human being on earth but the weekend is the weekend and those are the two days that your body has been programmed to relax.

We need to seriously reconsider this 10:30 am on Sunday mornings crap because I think it’s causing us to really miss the mark.

But, what do I know?

We are going to be streaming Element Church’s 2nd preview service tomorrow. Stop by here around 10am, to check it out:

Online TV Shows by Ustream

Please bare in mind that this is our very first time doing this and their could be some glitches.

…I’ve managed to have a decision made for me, as far as my new church home is concerned.

Over the last several months I’ve spent a significant amount of time wrestling with this decision. I’ve argued (yes ARGUED) with God on multiple occasions, even making it known that He’s not exactly as smart as people make Him out to be. I posted a couple weeks ago about how I’ve been struggling with trying to figure all this crap out.

Needless to say, from that post forward, to about a week ago I have been in one fight after another with God about the subject. Basically, I’m going to do what I should have been doing all along, and that is be a part of Element, which is the church that Bobby is planting here in Tampa. It’s also basically the church that “Revolution,” the ministry that I considered my church for about 2 years has grown in to. I’ve learned (well not really, because I pretty much knew it already) that despite every inkling in me to not be, I am one of the most judgmental human beings I know. I listened to God in the beginning, grabbed on to the vision He cast in Bobby and ran with it, only to let the judgmental bastard in me get the best of me and let me believe that I couldn’t be involved because too many people were doing it just so they could hop on the “cool train.” (That damn train, I hope it derails eventually)

Anyway, long story short, the immature side of me has spun around in circles, fought off the direction of God, as well as, several significant spiritual leaders in my life for the last several months when I knew the answer from the beginning.

STILL though, I demanded some type of confirmation, and I received it today. I spent 5.5 hours hanging out at where Element will be meeting putting furniture together, cleaning up construction mess, helping hang crap and a variety of other chores before the first preview service this Sunday. I did all of that along side some incredible individuals, people who really are on board with the vision God has cast in Bobby. I realized today that those who aren’t really on board with the mission will eventually be phased out by the large number of folks who are. I’m proud to be serving the Tampa Bay community along side these great folks who are running with the same vision that I’ve decided to run with.

This whole post is flaky, but it’s coming from deep inside me. I don’t know that I could illustrate properly the struggle that I’ve had over the last several months about all this. I do know though that I’ve come out on the other end and while I’m still uncertain of the results, I’m going to go with them. I have absolutely NO IDEA, why God feels the need for me to be involved in all of this, but I’m going to do it in spite of myself. Element is going to do some crazy shizz in the Tampa area, and why my God, who knows just how screwed up of an individual I am wants me to be apart of that, I’ll never know. What I do know is that Element will be my church home, and I’ll do whatever it is I’m told to do to ensure the vision that God has cast in Bobby is carried out.

It’ll be a journey for sure, but after today I’m quite happy going on that journey with my fellow journeyers.

Recently my “church”, which happened to be a ministry of another church decided to up and go plant themselves as an official church.

Now, I know what you’re thinking…”So you’re now going to actually be a part of an official church.”

Well no, I’m not. You see, initially I was, but the more I actually sought the guidance of the one who I allow to make those decisions for me, the more I realized I was not doing what He wanted me to do. So, I decided not to move along with my “church.”
Since then my life has been turned upside down. I started attending a Catholic Church, which wasn’t too weird as I had been studying Catholicism for several months (I’ve actually studied quite a few other religions), the folks who I consider deep spiritual mentors had recently converted back to Catholicism, I made a new friend who was Catholic and I took all this to be a sign that perhaps this was the route I was suppose to take. Despite numerous prayers, and not (to my recollection and understanding) receiving any guidance from the one who makes those decisions for me. I rode with it. Well, after awhile, I started to realize that perhaps there were signs and He was telling me this wasn’t the right route to be taking. Needless, to say I haven’t been to a church in well over a month.

So now I have a plethora of thoughts running through my head:

• Have I allowed myself to become attached to the idea of Church? Why?!?
• Why is it that my “church” which for the most part was several other folks “church” have to go and screw with things. For instance, I loved the fact that I could spend my weekends (the only days of the week where the normal grind allows me to) sleeping in, and still get fed spiritually at 8pm Monday night. Why does that have to change!?!?
• Who on Earth made this mandate that “church” has to happen at 10:30 am on Sunday morning? Like seriously, I know good and well that there are many pastors out there who would be perfectly content with church at 8pm on Tuesday night. Yet, many do nothing about it. WHY THE HECK IS SO RIDICULOUSLY EARLY ON A WEEKEND MORNING THE STANDARD!?!?!?!
• Why do I feel like the majority of people who have went along with this idea of being a “real church” doing so just because of the trend factor involved?
• Why have I told myself that God doesn’t want me to be a part of this church, even though I know different? Furthermore, why is God allowing me to take his name in vain to convince everyone that my refusal to step on the “cool kids train” is His idea? Why is it that I have found it ok to lie, when I know damn well the only logical reason I have come up with for not wanting to be a part of this incredible thing is because I feel that so many are involved for the wrong reasons!?
• Why the heck am I so judgmental!?!?!?!?!?!?
• Why the heck can I not find a single place where I can just do me? (Not even my “church” that is now becoming a “real church” that I’m not…at least for right now…going to have anything to do with)

My friend Crystal had a live prayer meeting a few nights back, and I asked for her and those in attendance to pray specifically for my situation, and ever since, God has really been kicking me in the butt. Mainly about the taking His name in vain (which I guess answers one of the questions up top), but also about being so dang judgmental and actually do what He’s telling me to do.

Yet…I’m finding that I am very afraid of doing what He is telling me to do.
The thing is, I truly believe in the mission and vision that my friend, who happens to be the pastor of this church that I have been trying desperately to not be a part of, has been given. I believe in the reach that this vision/mission is going to attain. I believe that most folks involved in the process of helping carry out that vision/mission are doing so because they too truly believe in it too. Unfortunately I believe there are others who are simply there because of the cool factor, and for whatever reason I have let that piss me off to no end. I’ve let it jade my opinion of a friend who has done nothing but support me, and who I hold in high regard. I’ve let it jade my opinion of the folks he has prayerfully decided to help him carry out that mission. Worst of all, I’ve let it encompass a great portion of my life. Essentially I’ve wasted a lot of time being a selfish bastard who will not listen to God, because I’m way to judgmental. The sad thing is, while I know I’m overly judgmental (which given that fact that none of us really have any right to judge any sort of judgment is overly judgmental), I also know that I am right in many cases. (And for those sticklers out there…being right means I can prove it)

That’s why I’m so damned confused.

I know what I’m suppose to do, yet I don’t do it. I do what I’m not suppose to do instead, in an attempt to make even more excuses for what I am actually suppose to be doing.

In the end it boils down to me wanting a place where I can do me. Sadly, the one place where I feel like that might be possible, the one place where God has told me He’s making it possible, is the one place I fear it’s not possible.

Pray please. For me, I am so stinkin conflicted, it is driving me nuts. I’m in the stage of just listening now, so maybe if some of you talk to God for me, perhaps He’ll find a way to sucker punch me in to believing what He has to say.